Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
wrigley field is MILF paradise
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
