Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
