trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
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