he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
