Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
