there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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