she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
