he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
