and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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