I just cut my nipple shaving
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
