I love black thongs
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
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