every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
