turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
