Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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