You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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