Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
