Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
sex in a hospital.. check
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize