Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
