it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
