She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
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