Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
The adults are the big ones right?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize