I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Randomize
