Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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