So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
