A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Randomize
