he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize