As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
