i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
