I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
