why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize