I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
