I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
