She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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