Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
