i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
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