my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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