over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
