this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I would fuck him just for his dog
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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