White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
