I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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