You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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