Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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