It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
