I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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