You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
