singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
