my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
