This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
