apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
