im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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