well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
