Im at strip club and am horny
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Randomize
