I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize