hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
