community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize