I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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