I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
