She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
