i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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