Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
