yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
