it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
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