i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize