There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize