I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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