dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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