Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
