Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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