he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
