I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize