My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
