Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
