oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
