It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
